the one horsewoman of the apocalypse | 8:57 PM >

Well, it's that time again.

"Time to hike up our pants and strut like Urkel?"

"Time to get that yearly prostate exam?"

Nope. It's time to hop on a plane and leave behind an entire life.

I sit here typing this hours before my plane takes off, hours before my wonderful friend Audra helps me to the airport and I meet Hiromi to say goodbye. I sit here, numb and disbelieving.

Most other people who've come to do the job I did, they have their homes to return to. I'd never planned on returning so, while packing up my room and shipping a bevy of boxes by boat, I came across all the stuff people here only temporarily never really accumulate. That, and I have way too fucking many clothes.

Am I ready for this? Not at all. I just "finished" packing an hour ago. Am I going to go through with it? Of course. Forward momentum isn't something you can just ignore. On the other hand, that doesn't make it any more acceptable.

Would I say I'm scared? Probably not loudly enough for anyone to hear. Maybe anxious is a better word. I never used to get anxious. I never used to cry either, but I did cry, once, Sunday night. First time in nearly two years, and the last time was because of a bit of a nervous breakdown.

Might cry again today.

Anyway, if you're reading this you must like me in some way, so to you, dear reader, should you live in Japan I say so long for now. To the people to whom I draw ever closer, smoke me a kipper. I'll be home in time for breakfast.

* * *

日本語が分かる皆さんへ

ようやく　今の時間が来たんだね。「国へ帰る」と言うのは何年ぶり言わなくてもいいと思ってたけど、もう言うちゃった。

ちょっと怖いね、生活を残す事は。

これから、たまに日本語のポーストを書いてあげる。英語の部分と違って、特別な日本語のメセージを伝える訳だ。僕の日本語は合わない時、教えてくださいね。僕の忍者っぽい言葉を許してくれ。

飛行機の出発は５：００なら今日はここまでだ。さようなら、僕の大切の友達。将来、逢えばいいね。

よろしくね！